Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
