Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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