my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
