she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
