Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
