The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
