I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
