Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
You've changed since you got that strap on
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize