grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize