Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
