Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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