Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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