Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
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i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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