This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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