it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
