hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
