Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
