Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize