Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
