so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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