I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
