oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
