this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
