so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
wat bout pragnant strippers??
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My vagina just clenched in fear
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
