rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
