i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
