we have officially lost it.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
