yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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