In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
