how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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