I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
