I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
