happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
i think im in europe. pls send help
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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