that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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