I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
