ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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