i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
