come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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