I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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