he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
