Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
