last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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