oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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