i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
