Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
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There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
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why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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