do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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