How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
