OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
