I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
As shirtless as possible
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
