I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
