He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
