just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
