yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
