just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Someone shattered a urinal.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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