You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
