Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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