That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
