he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
