the new term for farting is butt boxing.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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