Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
